Waiting for Monday

Thanks for the responses to my last post, you all!  I didn't realize anyone checked this space anymore. Which I guess says something about my willingness to talk to myself...the stuff I jot down here is mostly what goes through my head when I'm lying awake at night, and while it feels good to get it out, I sometimes forget that people are actually listening. So thanks for being so supportive~it helps, it really does.

I've decided to allow myself a few days of hope by not testing again until Monday. Why spoil a perfectly good weekend?  My dad surprised us by driving up from Virginia for a visit, so we've had a house guest and lots of activities to keep us busy.  The county fair, a baseball game (Tate's first!), the pool, grilling out, music class, and so on.  I want to enjoy it; I'm trying really hard to banish that little black raincloud that's been hanging over my head since Friday morning's negative test.

I wish I could say that I'm still optimistic about the outcome of the transfer, but I'd be stretching the truth. I think this is another chemical pregnancy, if that. I feel exactly the same way I did last time--a few days of very strong pregnancy symptoms, heartburn, nausea, etc, followed by nothing, followed by that dull ache low in my stomach. BUT...I'd love, love, LOVE to be proven wrong come Monday.  And hey, miracles happen.  The ache in my stomach could be something other than premenstrual pain. I'm trying my hardest to hold out hope--it's not over 'til it's over.