Where we are, and where we go from here

At least for now, our family is done with fertility treatments. We can’t afford another round of IVF at the moment, we have no more frozen embryos to transfer, and I’m physically, mentally and emotionally tapped out. I can’t bear the thought of more pills and shots (which I’ve been on since January, between the failed transfer in April and the one we just experienced in July). Hundreds of pokes, many hundreds of dollars, and my body no longer remembers what it’s like to be free of injected or swallowed hormones of one kind or another. 

So, I’ve spoken to several close friends who’ve gotten pregnant easily in their mid- to late-thirties, and a common theme seems to be emerging. Diet and Yoga. Two of my closest friends, one from high school and one from college, have been pregnant within the past year. Both are my age, and both have done yoga for many, many years. One now teaches yoga, in fact. Both are, if not vegetarian, then something close—flexitarian, I guess? They may eat limited amounts of fish (my friend in California does, at any rate) and animal protein, but the majority of their protein comes from plant products and beans. 

Somehow I’ve managed to reach my mid-thirties with nary a yoga class to my name. I’ve always been a runner, and I enjoy the gym. I like lifting weights, I like feeling myself sweat, and I like the high I get from pumping up hills to the tune of a favorite song. Somehow, yoga just never appealed to me—I’m NOT flexible AT ALL, I don’t care for new-age music and I was intimidated by those pretzel-looking poses that I saw on the cover of yoga books and DVDs. Yoga seemed like it was for a different species of person, someone good at introspection and filled with peace and patience (not me, not me, and again, definitely NOT me!).

I’m ready to reconsider. I’ve been reading a book on Hatha yoga for beginners, and another focused specifically on yoga as it relates to fertility—and I have to say, I'm prepared to set aside whatever has intimidated me about yoga in the past and give it a try. The balancing of body, mind and soul appeals to me now it ways it may not have in my 20s. Particularly after a long struggle with fertility issues, the idea of transcending the body and finding a peaceful way to be, to relieve stress, to become calm and in tune with my mind and body—what could be better?!

So begins a new leg of our ongoing journey. Bruce and I didn’t achieve a lasting pregnancy on our own during our first three years of trying—but I wasn’t at my healthiest then, either. I was overweight during our time in Germany, drinking too much beer and eating too much bread—and I wasn’t exercising regularly enough. I’m still a few pounds away from my optimal fertile weight (6 lbs, to be exact) but that’s a goal that I hope to reach within a month or so. At the same time, I’m going to start exploring some yoga poses on my own in the evenings after Tatum goes to bed, and as I get more comfortable with the poses I’ll work with a DVD that focuses on yoga and fertility. Once I get over my embarrassment and fall on my face and bum enough times in the privacy of my own home, maybe I’ll even try a yoga class in public! That’s down the road a way, but it’s something to work toward. 

I’ve been off of caffeine for a while now thanks to the treatments, and amazingly enough, it seems that coffee has lost much of it’s appeal! I poured myself a cup this morning, took a few sips, and dumped the rest. I’d rather have a tall glass of water (which I drink at room temperature), amazingly enough. I still love a glass of red wine, and had one last night—but I do that maybe once a week these days. Alcohol just isn’t a regular part of my life anymore. 

I love fruit and vegetables and eat plenty of them; but I usually eat them cold in the form of salads. I’ve been reading a bit about the eastern philosophy of warm foods, and wonder if perhaps I need to consider sautéing them or other preparations as well. I’m also going to focus on adding more beans to my diet. Last night was lentil soup (with lots of veggies in it—zucchini, tomatoes, etc.) and this afternoon I’ll make a big batch of bean salad to eat throughout the week. 

Along with a bunch of ovulation test strips, I ordered some FertilAid for Women…because hey, why not?  It sounds like a decent multivitamin if nothing else. The last pack of First Response pregnancy tests I ordered came with a free Fertility Test to be taken on day 3 of your cycle to test ovarian reserves, and while I don’t necessarily trust the results of a home test the way I would a test performed at the RE’s, I went ahead and took the test over the weekend. It seems that my ovarian reserves (according to First Response Fertility tests, at any rate) are normal. No elevated FSH reading to worry about. So that’s something, at least!

Anyone out there trying, or successfully pregnant in your mid- to late-thirties reading this, I’d love to hear from you. Any suggestions?  What are you doing?  What’s worked for you, and what do you think is a bunch of bunk?